Disappointments suck. (Mom if you're reading this I'm sorry. But they really do.) I have had my share of them, and I assume all of you have as well.
When you get a low grade on a test
When you don't get what you want for Christmas
When someone lets you down
When you're expecting something and it either doesn't happen at all, or not the way you expected it to happen
When you think a movie is going to be good and it ends up being terrible
When nobody likes your status update ;)
These are just a few of the general disappointments I've experienced in my life and there are way too many to count besides.
I had a giant disappointment this morning which some of you may know about, and this entire day was pretty much terrible for me because of it. Basically, without going into detail, I was supposed to do something that was going to be exciting but because of some complications (not on my part) I wasn't able to. I was really upset about it for a long time today and at work this afternoon (because it was very slow today) I was thinking about it very critically. I was asking myself why I was getting so upset over something that, in the scheme of things, was very insignificant. I can honestly say that I am still disappointed about it now and I haven't gotten over it quite yet, but I really should.
I saw this quote today. What kind of poop attitude is that? Hello, don't believe anything like that.
Small things can seem so big can't they? At times I know I take things too seriously and make things seem bigger and more important than they really are. If you've seen Soul Surfer you will remember when Carrie Underwood said that it's hard to understand things when you're looking at them too closely and sometimes you need to get a new perspective. I think that kind-of applies here. If you think about things that happen too closely, disappointments and such, you can't really understand why things like that happen. I made the mistake today of thinking too much about this disappointment and I originally made a huge deal about it and in the end, I let it ruin my day. Not a good plan. If I did what I really should have done, I would have chilled out about it and not let it get to me. It wasn't worth it. In the scheme of life it really doesn't even matter. Like at all. Yes, I can let it get to my head and put me in a terrible mood but if you think about it, it's kinda stupid. Not worth it in the least. Much better to spend my days and hours and seconds thinking of the good in things rather than the bad, insignificant, meaningless things of life. Like my little disappointing thing that happened today.
This is a pretty cool quote
Ugh if this is super scattered and makes little sense blame it on the fact that I'm watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier as we speak. My sisters have been begging me to watch it with them like every single night so that is what I am kind-of half doing as I write.
Oh hello. Just got to this part...
Dang it. Captain America made me lose my train of thought. Captain America gifs for the rest of this post just because I can.
Can you say "the story of my life?'
SAD PART!
My girls from the youth group sleepover might remember something like this happening...
Um yes. They really do.
I have no idea what I'm doing right now so I'm going to finish my movie.
Hey there kids :) I hope your day is going as well as mine so far! (I haven't done anything today and I actually have a cold, but somehow my attitude is in a good place this morning) I have been thinking about two things so far this morning. (Duh obviously more than two...but only two of them are worth sharing in my opinion.)
The movie/Broadway masterpiece Newsies
Living as if every day is your last
Newsies has been one of my favorite movies of all time since I first watched it when I was maybe nine or ten.
GIANT shout out to the lovely Christian Bale, one of my favorite actors, who was so little (and good looking!!!) in this movie. The main reason that this movie holds such a special place in my heart is because of the music. I'm going to put my three favorite songs in, and if you don't watch all of them then at least watch the medley by BYU Vocal Point because it is also fantastic. (which is the one right below this)
This one^ makes me cry. It is just too beautiful.
This song is so much fun to dance around to. Take those pants of judgement off. I can do what I want.
This last song is just epic. Epic. Don't try to tell me otherwise because my listening ears are OFF.
Ahhhhh such a classic movie. If you haven't seen it I absolutely recommend it to you. Duh. And moving on to my slightly more depressing topic for the day...
Live like you're dying
Everyone has heard that like a bazillion and a half times, so it shouldn't be anything new. I also know I blogged about living like that (or something along those lines at least) recently but hopefully this will come off differently in the end. We'll see where my brain goes today.
Are you in the mood for a long clip? Ugh I know, enough with all the videos Charlotte! Just write something for once. Ummm okay, well if you want to get an idea of where i'm coming from with this topic then watch this video. I cried almost the entire time.
Did you cry? Don't lie. I know you did.
Somehow I feel like I know him. Just from watching the video. At the very least I feel like if I could have met anyone in the world It would have been him. It is because of his attitude. I know you could look at me and say "you just feel bad for him" or "it's just the emotion of the video that makes you say that." Which might have contributed to it, but honestly I would give literally anything I have-minus my family-to be able to see this kid for one day. He is a GIANT inspiration to me.
*the rest of this post might be slightly depressing so if you don't want to keep reading it feel free to...not keep reading.*
My family has been through a lot of loss over the past two years. Like a heck of a lot. We have lost my uncle to cancer, my great great aunt passed away at the age of 104, one of my cousins died in a car accident, my precious cousin Medea died in her sleep of a brain aneurism, my cousin lost her several month old baby, and my uncle's wife also passed away. If you can't tell already, I'm kinda not over it. Like basically at all. It's as hard to face some days as the actual days that these terrible things all happened.
It really really makes me think though. What if I suddenly died? What would people say about me after I was gone? Would they even remember me a few years down the road? I think one of the most important things in all of life is to make a difference that remains after you're gone. Life is fleeting. Stuff doesn't last. People don't even last. What are you going to do that lasts? It could be the simplest things, like smiling at every single person you see walking down the street, even if you have no idea who they are, or if they kinda creep you out, or if they look like they're in a rotten mood. Believe me, if a random stranger makes the decision to smile at me I don't think I would get upset. I think I would be thankful. And if my smile can make someone else smile then what is better than that?
To be completely honest I'm not sure where I'm heading with this right now. I have so many thoughts and I don't know which ones to write down. I think i'll just end for now and say that no matter what you think, you really haven't the slightest idea when you, or anyone you love, will leave this earth. You don't know. Doctors don't know. Only God does. He can take you whenever the heck He wants to, and you can't do anything about it. So what are you going to do today that matters? What would you do if today was your last day?
XO Charlotte
I hate this movie but I had to reference it for the sake of my last few paragraphs :)
I feel badly saying this, but ugh! I have to write again? You know, some days I'm totally in the mood to write, and I have an idea in mind, and I feel confident that whatever writing I produce will somehow make a little-to-moderate amount of sense, but today is not one of those days. Today is one of the "how did I convince myself to even get out of bed and put on clothes?" days. The last thing I want to do right now is use my brain for any purpose other than hibernation. (I think it's because of the summer-to-fall-transition we're in) But, alas, I haven't posted in a bit and the time has come.
Okay. Frustration out of the way, this was one of the best gifs I've ever seen. I don't know where it came from but these kids are creative! I laughed like the whole five seconds of it ;)
Aaaaand to get back on track, I'm going to do a list. I don't have a super long time to write tonight so I have to do something that's a little quicker and easier to throw out than an entire thought-out topic or whatever. And the list is:
Things to do and NOT to do when you like someone
Yes, I know what you're thinking. These are taken (mostly) from personal experience. Good and bad.
Do, evaluate their lifestyle. Yes, that could very well mean stalk them on various social media sites. I don't think you really want to-as my dad would say-have a fancy for someone who participates in things that you think are wrong, who makes choices carelessly and thoughtlessly, or who doesn't treat people in his or her life with respect.
Don't, tell all of your friends that you like the person. Okay this one absolutely comes from personal experience. Let's face it people, friends sometimes talk. Ya know what I mean...the whole- "She just told me this and told me not to tell anyone so don't tell anyone else." And then those people all tell like nine other people and one of them happens to be the person you like. Just avoid that whole thing. Unless they pinky promise...cuz y'all can't ever break one of those.
Do, keep your thoughts in line. No, no, no, not like what you're all thinking. Well that yes, but like don't let them consume all of your time. Don't spend every second imagining what you're going to wear the next time you see them, imagining texts that they didn't actually send you, and creating stories about them in your head. How incredibly creepy does that sound when I write it all down? But, *sigh* we're pretty much all guilty of doing that whether we want to admit it or not. (Okay really, please someone admit it so I know i'm not the only person in the entire world who has done this. It is creepy.)
Don't, text them every second. I take this from personal experience too...It can get pretty dang annoying. I have been on both ends of this I have to admit. And when I think back on all the stupid things that I sent people when I wasn't really thinking about it, but just wanted an excuse to talk to them, I realize that I am a complete idiot. And I will only admit that because most of you are already thinking it. (I HOPE NOT. JEEZ PEOPLE ARE YOU HEARTLESS?)
seriously, I send things and the second after I'm like "NOOOOO COME BACK TO ME!!!"
Don't, forget who's you are. My mom says this to me almost every time I leave the house, and her mom said it to her when she was a kid. "remember who's you are." I really like that. I know how incredibly hard it is to remember at all times that you're God's precious child, because it's all too easy to get caught up in, well, life stuff. Like crushes. And let me tell you, it's really not worth it to invest yourself in someone when they may or may not even ever like you back. I mean, even if they do they might not be the Prince Charming (or Princess?? guys??) that God has in mind for you. So heck people, let God do the work and don't fawn over people every second of the day.
Do, Pray about it. Okay I know, I'm getting all spiritual and you're like "I just thought they were cute, that's all. Stop preaching to me. We aren't getting married. (yet ^.^)" But I will still say it...just pray about it. 'nuff said.
Lastly, Do, keep your options open. I mean there's always this...
Just kidding. That would be stupid. ...Or would it? DUH YES IT WOULD WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I just realized that I've used a heck of a lot of CAPS this post. I guess I feel like somehow it gets my point across better? I have no idea. I have no idea about a lot of things. I actually just realized another thing: I put myself (and my writing) down a lot. Like every post, a lot. I never have confidence in myself. Maybe I should work on that. I think I do that in real life too though, so it might be hard. Ughh. OKAY CHARLOTTE PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER HERE.
Thank you and goodnight fair people. XO Charlotte
By the way, whatever I write, you don't have to agree with it or believe it, but just don't question it. Haha I won't have any answers for you (probably) so just don't even waste time trying to question my thinking or logic. K that's all. Goodnight.
WARNING:The following post will be extremely random. Proceed with extreme caution at your own risk.
Today I'm in the mood for change. Not just today actually, but these past days. Ehh like a few weeks.
I need something different. I need to not do the same things over and over.
Does everyone at some point in their life say this? Probably. I guess I should explain myself.
**Please don't wonder how I came up with this little example...because I don't' know myself. It popped into my head and I'm like "okay I'll go with it." **
Imagine a piece of paper. Blank. Now imagine the entire thing covered with small smiley faces like this :)
The smiley faces are kinda cute and interesting by themselves, right? :) Admit it, one smiley face...makes you smile. At least it does for me. I smile easily. Okay back on track here...So the entire paper is covered with something which, by itself, is a little cute and fun, but if you had to read through the entire thing it would get very boring, very fast.
Y'all be like
(I didn't feel like looking harder for a gif that made more sense than that last one so ta-da. That's the crappy kind of lazy writing I do.)
I feel like my life is like that right now. I do semi-interesting things sometimes, and some really fun things. Like hanging out with my besties Mary and Shaniqua ;) Some things, like work, that aren't that interesting but I get money which is good. All of these interesting-ish things, when I string them together, seem very ordinary and blah to me. I don't know, I guess it's hard to explain.
I feel like I've been doing the same things with ALL the same people for so long that I really need to go somewhere, or do something, or meet someone, from a totally different walk of life.I need some cul-tcha! (which is culture how my mom says it) NEW YORK CITY! That would work. Gotta meet me some people like this--
Just kidding, that's weird. I'm sorry about that. Here, cleanse your mind of that weirdness.
Kellan thank you for being here today. I really appreciate it.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah, my life. As usual. I think I need some spice.My life is not quite cracka-lackin. It's like a piece of bread with no butter, no jam, no cinnamon and sugar, or cream cheese. Heck, it's not even toasted. It's just bread. Okay by itself, but altogether boring. I am going crazy with these weird examples and metaphors. Help me.
Good advice, thank you
I am seriously in love with this song.
If it was possible to be in love with a song this would be it for me as of today. Please listen to it for me.
It is kinda describing my mood as of right this minute...
Okay so I want to change something. I want something, anything, in my life, to be different than it is now. I could:
Meet some awesome new person and learn stuff from them that I never knew before
Visit a new place. Or any place, really. Just somewhere with sights and sounds that i'm not used to seeing and hearing every single day.
Get a boyfriend. My Prince Charming!!!!! Yeah, yeah I know God is picking him out for me, but to quote my best friend ever, "I'm ready whenever He is."
Make a new friend
Ehhh I got nothing else now
To be honest, I don't feel like I do anything meaningful or helpful to anyone. And I feel that as of right now, If someone were to look at the accomplishments of my life, there would be like two things on the list. And to be honest (again), I can't think of a single one right now. Granted, that may be due to the fact that I am dead tired, but at any rate, there aren't many things I've actually done. I need to to something. Any suggestions? Seriously though...comment anything. I LOVE reading comments! You might even say I cherish all of the comments you lovely reading people leave me ^.^
I really can't think of anything else to say for right now, but I guess you get my idea. I can't remember if I had a point to all of my somewhat unconscious writing so i'll give you one here. Make every second of your life matter.
When people look at you and even if they only meet you for a few minutes, they should be able to tell who holds your heart.
Don't spend every waking moment trying to impress people. AKA guys. (Or if you're a guy, then girls.) (guys don't read this part) GIRLS: let's face it, most guys we see out on the street aren't worth our time. There are a butt-load of jerks out there. I believe that there's only one person who will be perfect for you and that is your Prince Charming, and just freaking be patient.
If you feel like I do right now, do something about it. Be intentional about meeting and introducing yourself to new people. Maybe they really want to meet someone like you too!
Be crazy.
Do things you've never done. Even if it's as random and small as taking a bike ride through the woods, going sailing, doing a color run, baking strudel, getting a mani-pedi, or starting a journal. Just do something to be different.
And this song changed my life <3 That was a bonus song for you today. You're welcome.
K love you and please, not to sound pathetic and desperate, but please, comment something sometime so I can have fun seeing who actually reads this ;)
It has been so long since i've posted. I know. I really have a huge list of stupid excuses and things but i'll spare you. Just know that I'm sorry and I'm going to get back on track. I guess I needed a several month break...yeah idiot me.
Anyway, so Life. There are so many weird things that happen in life I think. You can divide life into so many sections! For instance: Childhood, school years, teen years, post-graduation-weird-starting-a-new-job-summer, college years, first few years of being a "real adult" things like that.
So right now in what you could call the "transition stage" of my life. I'm working at a grocery store, which is a pretty new job, and I'm in-between school and...school. I've graduated high school and I'll be starting Cosmetology school in October. So this summer has been very strange and different for me. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I won't be home-schooled ever again. It's sad actually, because I'm going to really miss being home with my family every day. I know...hard to believe ;)
So yeah, this summer has been long. (And also really, really short but I'm not going to get into that.)
I graduated high school. WHAT? PLEASE TELL ME HOW THAT EVEN HAPPENED. How could I graduate, like for real? I'm not very smart...
I've gone on a mission trip called The Hartford Project, which deserves at least two posts all to itself but I honestly can't form any significant thoughts right now.
I got a job. That was a huge thing because now I'm one of those annoying people who has to say "I'm not sure if I can come to your party because I might have to work." Somehow, before I had a job, I felt like I would never have to do that. How do I convince myself of these stupid things? I have no idea.
I got accepted to The International Institute of Cosmetology in Wethersfield. The name makes it sound really highfalutin but It isn't insane like that or anything :) I'm so excited to go there.
I went on a family vacation to Maine and we had approximately 117 extended family members there. It was probably the best week of my life. I am honestly pretty depressed to be home because the cousins that we bonded with and hung out with and surfed with and ate candy with for 10 days...won't be with us for an entire year, or possibly longer. I miss them so much.
I realized that in one year (and a couple months) I will be graduated from school and will have to get a job and start supporting myself like a "real adult" which is crazy because usually kids have FOUR YEARS OF SCHOOL!
So altogether this summer has been a transition to becoming more of an adult, and figuring out my future, and basically It has changed me in SO many uncountable, and mostly inexplicable ways. I very often feel overwhelmed by everything, just everything and I just say "life, what the heck? Chill out. Stop going on for a little bit so I can figure this all out." But alas, that can't actually happen...
To my friends reading this,
PLEASE DO THIS OH MY GOODNESS
Not really haha! I do have unlimited texting but that might get pretty annoying. You can text me once a week or every few days though :)
My closing thoughts on the topic of life are as follows:
Sometimes we think life sucks, but God made it, so it obviously doesn't always suck.
When life gets confusing hold on to the things that you know will always be there for you. Your friends, family and God.
When crazy stuff happens and all you can really say is "what the heck just happened?", the best thing to do is remember that yeah, stuff is crazy but whatever. Who really cares?
Yeah things are really weird sometimes.
I just saw this and I don't understand what's going on
