I have so much to say. It might take me an hour to write this all out. I don't know where to start to be honest. So much has happened since I last wrote.
I'm in school now. Getting into the groove of school has been really hard. I wake up at 6:45 every morning, leave the house by 7:45 at the latest to drive in traffic to school, where I'm in class and on my feet from 8:30 to 3:00. After that, if it's a work day, I drive straight from school to work and I'm there until either 8 or 9. That makes for a long day. I've found myself eating so much junk food and snacks and quick car food that I know I'm going to gain something like a Freshman 30 or somewhere around there. And let me tell you, if that happens I will not be a happy camper. I won't be a happy person, let alone a happy person sleeping in the woods in a tent. I don't understand that phrase to be honest. So far i've kept up with homework, gotten really good grades and i'm enjoying my classes immensely, but I don't know how long I can keep that up. I think this work and school schedule is going to burn me out eventually and that is a scary thought. I don't know what I'll do when I start feeling like I hate work and school and just want to be out of both. I require a butt load of sleep and right now I've been getting like half a cheek's worth every night. (That example is courtesy of Oliver Toal) That isn't enough. I have a car. I have a license. I can drive wherever I want and almost whenever I want. It's pretty darn cool. I love feeling so independent. I feel so...wonderful I guess is the best way to put it, when I'm just driving along in my car singing Break Free, Boom Clap, or Black Widow at the top of my lungs. Black Widow is so my jam right now. I can turn the music in my car as loud as I want and my parents aren't even in the car to turn down the song as soon as it gets to the chorus.
Just driving like...
I will be 18 tomorrow. I will be a legal adult. I will be able to drive anyone I want, I can drive after 11 PM, I can vote, I can sign my own papers, I can get a tattoo, I can do so much stuff. I can buy lotto tickets. But I WONT okay mom? Geez. What kind of a person do you think I am? lol Mainly i'm excited to be 18 because I hope that will make me seem a lot older in people's eyes. I feel like quite often people think of me as this little girl because I'm "so short and cute and adorable." I hate being that. I wish for once people would say I was pretty or a good friend or something, not just like the adorable little girl. That grates on my nerves. It Grates.
Random things come out of my mind and I don't know how. It's kindof fun to think about what I think about. Does that make sense?
You know, that's really all I want to talk about tonight. I am tired of thinking. I want to go to sleep so I will wake up and it will be my birthday. Yep that's what I want to do. I hope you weren't too bored or confused by this post and I hope you freaking comment on it because I love when you do that. Kidding you don't have to. (But you still CANNNNN)
XO Charlotte the birthday girl in thirty nine minutes
And thus eight days had passed since she added to her public assemblage of recorded thoughts. She was filled with remorse at the complete and utter lack of consistency on her part, and consequently agonized over the appropriate means of making amends. What, she reasoned, could she do to regain the confidence of those who made it their habit to read that which she wrote? Alas, nothing came promptly to mind, and so, in her state of internal turmoil and agitation, she moved on.
I can not even tell you how much fun that was. But I am done. It must have been boring.
Okay so to start out this post with a BANG, this video makes me laugh so hard I can't even explain it to you. Honestly I'm not sure why...it's my mood I suppose.
So you know how you aren't supposed to be jealous? I man jealousy is a sin. So duh obviously we aren't supposed to do it. Well there are a few things I get very jealous of.
When someone has a really nice car
Girls who are taller than me
"Cool" people AKA anyone I know
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those might seem like stupid things to be jealous of (except the first one maybe) but hey, I do what I want. Not that I mean I want to be jealous...but you know what I mean. Question of the day: What's something that every single person in the world thinks about every day whether they realize it or not?
Answer: What can I do/wear/say/fill-in-the-blank that would make me look cool?
Yeah don't even try to lie to me. Everyone EVERYONE wants to be cool, or thinks they're cool, or thinks about how to be cool. And before I go on, I have two things to say.
Don't read this and think I'm some shallow idiot like lots of people in this lame world of ours...there's nothing wrong with being cool. (USUALLY)
When I say "cool" I'm assuming you know what i'm talking about, but just to clarify, I basically mean that you present yourself well and you have a good image and *ahem* you look good.
How freaking shallow and teenage girl-ish does that sound? Pretty darn. But remember, there isn't necessarily anything wrong with this and I write about what I think about so here you go. Judge if you want to Judge. (OR NOT. THERE'S ALWAYS THAT)
You know those people who just try WAY WAY too hard to be cool? They wear like five hundred trendy pieces of clothing at once so you think they're rich? They try to use slang when they don't know what it means? They act like they're all that and a bag of chips...and everyone's like who is that kid? Yeah with those people I'm just like
How to be Cool
These are just things that I find to be "cool" about other people
First impressions are ALWAYS important. If you meet someone, don't be stupid about it.
Don't try too hard to impress people. For instance, if you're in a group and you're trying to get attention don't make idiot jokes at random times. That's so dumb.
Be real. Always check yourself and make sure you aren't acting different than, well, you. It's so easy to get carried away and start acting differently around different people to fit in. If you're the exact same person as everyone else when you're around them...you won't be fun to hang out with honestly.
Put a little effort into what you wear. I mean sure, there's a time and a place for dressing down and wearing sweats (sweatpants are life) but even if you do, you aren't going to look super appealing to people around you if you literally look like you got out of bed that minute.
Don't think you're too good for stuff. Heck, I still play in the back yard with my sisters and I still bake cookies with friends when they come over and I talk to people who other jerks won't talk to (because let's be real...those are great people. If you don't want to talk to somebody because of how they look or talk...you are not being a nice person. Just sayin' it how it is.) You are ABSOLUTELY NOT too good to help out in the nursery, or do things that the popular kids don't do.
Don't wear inappropriate stuff to get attention. You can be trendy without being trashy. Guys, if your jeans are tighter than mine, no. Just no. There's a fine like between guys' skinnies, and man leggings.
Be spontaneous and try new things. I hope that's pretty self-explanatory.
You don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be cool. Trust me. Please.
I'm curious...do you agree/disagree with any or all of these things? I probably would if I were the one reading this (which makes no sense because I'm writing it myself so I obviously know what it says) But I don't know how to explain it. I think if you follow all of my rules for cool you're going to be an awesome person that everyone in their right mind will want to be friends with :) Notice I left out things like,
Be nice
Be yourself
Be a good friend
Because those are lame. They just are. Like how many the heck times could you say "well duh!"
Everyone wants to be cool, and I'm not going to lie. Most people will think you're cool mainly based off of your looks. I know that's super shallow and stupid but It's still really true. We can't deny that. But, I just want you to know, that if you don't buy all your clothes at American Eagle or H&M, and you don't have a different MK bag for every day of the week, there are people (like me) who will think you're the coolest. All you have to do is present yourself in a positive way, like don't be a complainer, a gossiper or a liar, and you're automatically pretty dang cool. (Then the last step is to wear pants and a shirt that at least match people.)
So, to start off, today at work I slammed my finger in the cash register drawer. My left index finger. So typing right now is painful. You'd better be grateful for this blog post because I AM IN PAIN FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT HERE PEOPLE. But hey, I love you so it's okay. Don't feel tooooo guilty about reading this...(kidding. feel super guilty.)
Not 100% sure this gif fits...but I thought it was cute
And moving on to my second mini-topic for this post: To all of you who have heard me complain about work, and my co-workers, and my managers, (if you don't know I work at a grocery store as a cashier) I apologize. In all honesty, it's a little fun to complain because I feel better after. (Isn't that what people usually say DOESN'T happen?) Anyway, my job is pretty much perfect for me right now. I can take off basically whatever time I need, it's close to my house so I can walk to work if need be, some of the managers aren't bad and most of the co-workers are people with whom I can get along. BAM! NAILED THAT GRAMMAR
I guess what i'm saying is, I should really not complain as much as I do and to all of you to whom I have complained, I am sorry.
Can we all just agree right now that my grammar so far has been on point? Okay? Okay. (WHOA, THAT'S LIKE A TFIOS REFERENCE!)
And so we will be moving on to the real meat of this post. The thoughts and ideas in the following paragraphs will be mediocre at best, and I don't expect to get anything deep written down, but you know what? That's okay. I'm not a prize-winning writer so I can do what I want.
What would you consider to be make it or break it?
I know I have talked in the past about what I'm looking for in a guy, and I probably will again because that was in one of my first few posts. AKA probably nobody actually remembers it. (Okay okay, I really don't have any idea what I wrote about either.) So, today, and for the past few days, I have been thinking about what is a make it or break it thing for me.
I'm going to give a short list of qualities that someone might have for a guy (or girl I guess) and use that as an example. And I am going to use "he" but you can think "she" depending on whatever haha
He has to be good with kids.
He has to love God more than he loves me.
He can't swear.
He has to be at least 5'8".
He has to be athletic.
He has to be generous.
Let's pretend for a minute that those were all of the things I said I wanted in a guy. (Some of those are true, some aren't, for the record.) Which things would I really, honestly, hold to and not compromise on? Say I found a guy who was really sweet, athletic, good with kids, 5'9", and put God as his first priority, but he swore. He didn't see anything wrong with cussing every once in a while if he was upset. Would I let it slide because everything else about him was pretty good? Some of you reading this might think, "yeah of course you should just go out with him. I mean, swearing isn't all that bad, and if he loves God then it doesn't really matter."
Okay I agree that that was a little dramatic, but my point is, if you set standards originally, you shouldn't let things that were important to you slip away just because you find someone that meets the majority of your principles. What if you meet someone who has all of the qualities in the above list except the height? Unless somehow height is absolutely 100% a deal breaker for you, that particular thing could probably be set aside. Do you see what i'm getting at? You need to decide now what standards you're going to hold your Prince Charming to, and which ones you might be comfortable giving up. But if you specify qualities that are either in the Bible, or that differentiate between right and wrong, you should decide now to stay firm on.
What is going to be a make it or break it deal for you in a future relationship?
*I'm not sure if all of those sentences make sense; I am the queen of run-on sentences. You got the gist of it.*
I'm going to write yet another list, of just tons of qualifications you could have for a future boyfriend/girlfriend and I want you to pick out the ones that you would like them to have, and then I want you to choose the ones that they absolutely have to have, no question. If there are any that you think of in addition feel free to add them to your own list. I think everyone should have a list of wants and a list of needs per-say for their future partner.
Practices humility
Is generous
Is good with kids
Loves God more than he loves you
Is a good protector
Diligent and hard working
Doesn't swear
Doesn't drink
Sense of humor
Is romantic
Is taller than you
Loves the outdoors
Is 100% genuine and dedicated (that's rather vague...take it how you want)
Keeps short accounts
Doesn't push your boundaries
Appreciates your high standards
Gets along with your family
Gets along with his family
Read over your list again. And again. You should have these things drilled into your brain so that if you find yourself getting interested in someone you can immediately see if they (I don't want to say "aren't good enough for you")but I mean that's basically what I mean. You don't want to date, and eventually marry, someone who holds completely different standards than you, and does things that you don't agree with.
yes, yes I am tired of thinking
Sooooooo, to finish this for the night, I will overload you with cuteness and whatever else I come across on Google. Google is the best thing about computers.
I never look that cute when I do it
I laughed harder than necessary at that
Poor guy. NOT
We've all done this. Be honest.
That's GORP you young kids
And that concludes what has been the longest post i've ever done. Just kidding, I have no idea if it was the longest. My guess is that it hasn't. It just seems like the longest because it took me like seven thousand hours to write...
Some stuff just makes my day. There are actually lots and lots of things that have day-making potential in my mind.
When someone sends me a really sweet text at a totally random time, just to tell me how much they love me
When I spontaneously get to hang out with someone and do fun stuff
When I get any new makeup. Stop being judgmental people...I AM a girl after all
When my absolute favorite songs come on the radio (This is How We Roll and Just the Way You Are)
When random strangers compliment me
When what is happening around me right now, happens. And that would be: two of my siblings and a good friend of ours who is super cool jamming out on three guitars in my family room :)
It really brings a crazy amount of joy to my heart. It is very difficult to explain actually. I have an insane liking for the sound of acoustic guitar, especially open chords. *If you don't know what open chords are, you are missing out on some serious ear candy. (What does that even mean? I feel like it sounds inappropriate...heh heh)* Well, anyway Charlotte, so yeah. They're all teaching each other different songs and picking melodies, and singing, and it is so much fun to listen to. It's incredibly relaxing. I guess I can try to explain it by saying it makes my heart happy. You know the feeling...like when you hear or see or feel something that you just absolutely love and you just sigh...and are so comfortable. Yep that's it for me right here. (Partly because I stink at guitar and I am jealous of anyone who can play well, so I just love to hear other people play what I can't.) I think they would be weirded out to know that I'm writing about them as they're playing...I mean I probably would be. Just kidding, I don't think I would. I don't really know why I said that. *ahem* They are some cool kids let me tell you.
So what I was thinking about today is (can you use was and is in the same sentence? Whatever) JOY. What is joy? Where does it come from? From whence does it come? How do you get it?
Supposed definition of joy
I mean I guess that is a pretty accurate definition right there, although I don't think I really agree on the first one in that list to be honest. I mean I think that is the definition of happiness, but joy, to me, is something different. Joy comes from God. From knowing that God is with you and protecting you and strengthening you, and because of that you don't have to worry about anything. Only then can you have joy. I mean, if you are considering your successes and good fortune, then yes. You will be happy. But somewhere in the back of your mind you will always have doubts about the future, longings, regrets, and things like that. So you can't be 100% full of joy.
Where do you get joy?
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. – Psalm 16:11
Umm I'd say that is a pretty easy answer. As long as you get the fact that the psalmist is talking about God here. We get joy from God. See that? Not from success, or people, or having a good breakfast. From God. Geez Google definitions, get it right. Sheesh.
yeah Google, sheesh
Ever heard this? The joy of the LORD is my strength
Of course you have. Or have you been living under a rock? I don't know. Maybe you have. What am I even saying right now? Ugh so anyway, before I rudely interrupted myself, yeah so that's from the Bible. So it's obvs true. If you delight yourself in the Lord (He will give you the desires of your heart...and) He will give you joy. I feel like I say this in every single post I do, but what could be better than the Joy of the Lord? I have definitely used that phrase "what could be better than..." way too many times for it to be accurate. But you know what I mean. Pray for Joy. Ask God for Joy. Relish His Joy. Don't think constantly about all the crap in life, in your life, but choose Joy. It's so much better than choosing to have a pity party, or a worry fest or any of that junk.
Insert seamless topic transition here
On a much more interesting and fun note, my sister made me an insanely delicious and awesome dessert because we saw it on a cooking show and we (meaning she) had to try to re-create it! It is called a crouquembouche. Otherwise known as a cream puff tower. Cream puffs stuck together with caramel. I know. It is a real thing and it is a fantastic thing.
I am sorry to say it didn't turn out looking too much like that picture...because our cream puffs somewhat sank down into not so puffy puffs...but the idea was the same. And she even successfully did the spun sugar on the outside that look like creepy-cool sugar cobwebs. Anyway, it was delicious and we only ended up with two injuries. *****do NOT under any circumstances, EVER touch hot caramel. You may end up with a 3rd degree burn in under 1 second.***** I am dead. I should be getting my second wind soon...but for now I am done here. Adios you cool kids you. (And adults???) XO Charlotte
This did not end up as a very interesting post, but I promise that the next one will have lots more gifs and videos and cool junk like that. ( I have said junk twice in this post...I feel like that's a bad sign or something.) Okay really that's all. Goodnight.
Disappointments suck. (Mom if you're reading this I'm sorry. But they really do.) I have had my share of them, and I assume all of you have as well.
When you get a low grade on a test
When you don't get what you want for Christmas
When someone lets you down
When you're expecting something and it either doesn't happen at all, or not the way you expected it to happen
When you think a movie is going to be good and it ends up being terrible
When nobody likes your status update ;)
These are just a few of the general disappointments I've experienced in my life and there are way too many to count besides.
I had a giant disappointment this morning which some of you may know about, and this entire day was pretty much terrible for me because of it. Basically, without going into detail, I was supposed to do something that was going to be exciting but because of some complications (not on my part) I wasn't able to. I was really upset about it for a long time today and at work this afternoon (because it was very slow today) I was thinking about it very critically. I was asking myself why I was getting so upset over something that, in the scheme of things, was very insignificant. I can honestly say that I am still disappointed about it now and I haven't gotten over it quite yet, but I really should.
I saw this quote today. What kind of poop attitude is that? Hello, don't believe anything like that.
Small things can seem so big can't they? At times I know I take things too seriously and make things seem bigger and more important than they really are. If you've seen Soul Surfer you will remember when Carrie Underwood said that it's hard to understand things when you're looking at them too closely and sometimes you need to get a new perspective. I think that kind-of applies here. If you think about things that happen too closely, disappointments and such, you can't really understand why things like that happen. I made the mistake today of thinking too much about this disappointment and I originally made a huge deal about it and in the end, I let it ruin my day. Not a good plan. If I did what I really should have done, I would have chilled out about it and not let it get to me. It wasn't worth it. In the scheme of life it really doesn't even matter. Like at all. Yes, I can let it get to my head and put me in a terrible mood but if you think about it, it's kinda stupid. Not worth it in the least. Much better to spend my days and hours and seconds thinking of the good in things rather than the bad, insignificant, meaningless things of life. Like my little disappointing thing that happened today.
This is a pretty cool quote
Ugh if this is super scattered and makes little sense blame it on the fact that I'm watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier as we speak. My sisters have been begging me to watch it with them like every single night so that is what I am kind-of half doing as I write.
Oh hello. Just got to this part...
Dang it. Captain America made me lose my train of thought. Captain America gifs for the rest of this post just because I can.
Can you say "the story of my life?'
SAD PART!
My girls from the youth group sleepover might remember something like this happening...
Um yes. They really do.
I have no idea what I'm doing right now so I'm going to finish my movie.
Hey there kids :) I hope your day is going as well as mine so far! (I haven't done anything today and I actually have a cold, but somehow my attitude is in a good place this morning) I have been thinking about two things so far this morning. (Duh obviously more than two...but only two of them are worth sharing in my opinion.)
The movie/Broadway masterpiece Newsies
Living as if every day is your last
Newsies has been one of my favorite movies of all time since I first watched it when I was maybe nine or ten.
GIANT shout out to the lovely Christian Bale, one of my favorite actors, who was so little (and good looking!!!) in this movie. The main reason that this movie holds such a special place in my heart is because of the music. I'm going to put my three favorite songs in, and if you don't watch all of them then at least watch the medley by BYU Vocal Point because it is also fantastic. (which is the one right below this)
This one^ makes me cry. It is just too beautiful.
This song is so much fun to dance around to. Take those pants of judgement off. I can do what I want.
This last song is just epic. Epic. Don't try to tell me otherwise because my listening ears are OFF.
Ahhhhh such a classic movie. If you haven't seen it I absolutely recommend it to you. Duh. And moving on to my slightly more depressing topic for the day...
Live like you're dying
Everyone has heard that like a bazillion and a half times, so it shouldn't be anything new. I also know I blogged about living like that (or something along those lines at least) recently but hopefully this will come off differently in the end. We'll see where my brain goes today.
Are you in the mood for a long clip? Ugh I know, enough with all the videos Charlotte! Just write something for once. Ummm okay, well if you want to get an idea of where i'm coming from with this topic then watch this video. I cried almost the entire time.
Did you cry? Don't lie. I know you did.
Somehow I feel like I know him. Just from watching the video. At the very least I feel like if I could have met anyone in the world It would have been him. It is because of his attitude. I know you could look at me and say "you just feel bad for him" or "it's just the emotion of the video that makes you say that." Which might have contributed to it, but honestly I would give literally anything I have-minus my family-to be able to see this kid for one day. He is a GIANT inspiration to me.
*the rest of this post might be slightly depressing so if you don't want to keep reading it feel free to...not keep reading.*
My family has been through a lot of loss over the past two years. Like a heck of a lot. We have lost my uncle to cancer, my great great aunt passed away at the age of 104, one of my cousins died in a car accident, my precious cousin Medea died in her sleep of a brain aneurism, my cousin lost her several month old baby, and my uncle's wife also passed away. If you can't tell already, I'm kinda not over it. Like basically at all. It's as hard to face some days as the actual days that these terrible things all happened.
It really really makes me think though. What if I suddenly died? What would people say about me after I was gone? Would they even remember me a few years down the road? I think one of the most important things in all of life is to make a difference that remains after you're gone. Life is fleeting. Stuff doesn't last. People don't even last. What are you going to do that lasts? It could be the simplest things, like smiling at every single person you see walking down the street, even if you have no idea who they are, or if they kinda creep you out, or if they look like they're in a rotten mood. Believe me, if a random stranger makes the decision to smile at me I don't think I would get upset. I think I would be thankful. And if my smile can make someone else smile then what is better than that?
To be completely honest I'm not sure where I'm heading with this right now. I have so many thoughts and I don't know which ones to write down. I think i'll just end for now and say that no matter what you think, you really haven't the slightest idea when you, or anyone you love, will leave this earth. You don't know. Doctors don't know. Only God does. He can take you whenever the heck He wants to, and you can't do anything about it. So what are you going to do today that matters? What would you do if today was your last day?
XO Charlotte
I hate this movie but I had to reference it for the sake of my last few paragraphs :)
I feel badly saying this, but ugh! I have to write again? You know, some days I'm totally in the mood to write, and I have an idea in mind, and I feel confident that whatever writing I produce will somehow make a little-to-moderate amount of sense, but today is not one of those days. Today is one of the "how did I convince myself to even get out of bed and put on clothes?" days. The last thing I want to do right now is use my brain for any purpose other than hibernation. (I think it's because of the summer-to-fall-transition we're in) But, alas, I haven't posted in a bit and the time has come.
Okay. Frustration out of the way, this was one of the best gifs I've ever seen. I don't know where it came from but these kids are creative! I laughed like the whole five seconds of it ;)
Aaaaand to get back on track, I'm going to do a list. I don't have a super long time to write tonight so I have to do something that's a little quicker and easier to throw out than an entire thought-out topic or whatever. And the list is:
Things to do and NOT to do when you like someone
Yes, I know what you're thinking. These are taken (mostly) from personal experience. Good and bad.
Do, evaluate their lifestyle. Yes, that could very well mean stalk them on various social media sites. I don't think you really want to-as my dad would say-have a fancy for someone who participates in things that you think are wrong, who makes choices carelessly and thoughtlessly, or who doesn't treat people in his or her life with respect.
Don't, tell all of your friends that you like the person. Okay this one absolutely comes from personal experience. Let's face it people, friends sometimes talk. Ya know what I mean...the whole- "She just told me this and told me not to tell anyone so don't tell anyone else." And then those people all tell like nine other people and one of them happens to be the person you like. Just avoid that whole thing. Unless they pinky promise...cuz y'all can't ever break one of those.
Do, keep your thoughts in line. No, no, no, not like what you're all thinking. Well that yes, but like don't let them consume all of your time. Don't spend every second imagining what you're going to wear the next time you see them, imagining texts that they didn't actually send you, and creating stories about them in your head. How incredibly creepy does that sound when I write it all down? But, *sigh* we're pretty much all guilty of doing that whether we want to admit it or not. (Okay really, please someone admit it so I know i'm not the only person in the entire world who has done this. It is creepy.)
Don't, text them every second. I take this from personal experience too...It can get pretty dang annoying. I have been on both ends of this I have to admit. And when I think back on all the stupid things that I sent people when I wasn't really thinking about it, but just wanted an excuse to talk to them, I realize that I am a complete idiot. And I will only admit that because most of you are already thinking it. (I HOPE NOT. JEEZ PEOPLE ARE YOU HEARTLESS?)
seriously, I send things and the second after I'm like "NOOOOO COME BACK TO ME!!!"
Don't, forget who's you are. My mom says this to me almost every time I leave the house, and her mom said it to her when she was a kid. "remember who's you are." I really like that. I know how incredibly hard it is to remember at all times that you're God's precious child, because it's all too easy to get caught up in, well, life stuff. Like crushes. And let me tell you, it's really not worth it to invest yourself in someone when they may or may not even ever like you back. I mean, even if they do they might not be the Prince Charming (or Princess?? guys??) that God has in mind for you. So heck people, let God do the work and don't fawn over people every second of the day.
Do, Pray about it. Okay I know, I'm getting all spiritual and you're like "I just thought they were cute, that's all. Stop preaching to me. We aren't getting married. (yet ^.^)" But I will still say it...just pray about it. 'nuff said.
Lastly, Do, keep your options open. I mean there's always this...
Just kidding. That would be stupid. ...Or would it? DUH YES IT WOULD WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I just realized that I've used a heck of a lot of CAPS this post. I guess I feel like somehow it gets my point across better? I have no idea. I have no idea about a lot of things. I actually just realized another thing: I put myself (and my writing) down a lot. Like every post, a lot. I never have confidence in myself. Maybe I should work on that. I think I do that in real life too though, so it might be hard. Ughh. OKAY CHARLOTTE PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER HERE.
Thank you and goodnight fair people. XO Charlotte
By the way, whatever I write, you don't have to agree with it or believe it, but just don't question it. Haha I won't have any answers for you (probably) so just don't even waste time trying to question my thinking or logic. K that's all. Goodnight.
WARNING:The following post will be extremely random. Proceed with extreme caution at your own risk.
Today I'm in the mood for change. Not just today actually, but these past days. Ehh like a few weeks.
I need something different. I need to not do the same things over and over.
Does everyone at some point in their life say this? Probably. I guess I should explain myself.
**Please don't wonder how I came up with this little example...because I don't' know myself. It popped into my head and I'm like "okay I'll go with it." **
Imagine a piece of paper. Blank. Now imagine the entire thing covered with small smiley faces like this :)
The smiley faces are kinda cute and interesting by themselves, right? :) Admit it, one smiley face...makes you smile. At least it does for me. I smile easily. Okay back on track here...So the entire paper is covered with something which, by itself, is a little cute and fun, but if you had to read through the entire thing it would get very boring, very fast.
Y'all be like
(I didn't feel like looking harder for a gif that made more sense than that last one so ta-da. That's the crappy kind of lazy writing I do.)
I feel like my life is like that right now. I do semi-interesting things sometimes, and some really fun things. Like hanging out with my besties Mary and Shaniqua ;) Some things, like work, that aren't that interesting but I get money which is good. All of these interesting-ish things, when I string them together, seem very ordinary and blah to me. I don't know, I guess it's hard to explain.
I feel like I've been doing the same things with ALL the same people for so long that I really need to go somewhere, or do something, or meet someone, from a totally different walk of life.I need some cul-tcha! (which is culture how my mom says it) NEW YORK CITY! That would work. Gotta meet me some people like this--
Just kidding, that's weird. I'm sorry about that. Here, cleanse your mind of that weirdness.
Kellan thank you for being here today. I really appreciate it.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah, my life. As usual. I think I need some spice.My life is not quite cracka-lackin. It's like a piece of bread with no butter, no jam, no cinnamon and sugar, or cream cheese. Heck, it's not even toasted. It's just bread. Okay by itself, but altogether boring. I am going crazy with these weird examples and metaphors. Help me.
Good advice, thank you
I am seriously in love with this song.
If it was possible to be in love with a song this would be it for me as of today. Please listen to it for me.
It is kinda describing my mood as of right this minute...
Okay so I want to change something. I want something, anything, in my life, to be different than it is now. I could:
Meet some awesome new person and learn stuff from them that I never knew before
Visit a new place. Or any place, really. Just somewhere with sights and sounds that i'm not used to seeing and hearing every single day.
Get a boyfriend. My Prince Charming!!!!! Yeah, yeah I know God is picking him out for me, but to quote my best friend ever, "I'm ready whenever He is."
Make a new friend
Ehhh I got nothing else now
To be honest, I don't feel like I do anything meaningful or helpful to anyone. And I feel that as of right now, If someone were to look at the accomplishments of my life, there would be like two things on the list. And to be honest (again), I can't think of a single one right now. Granted, that may be due to the fact that I am dead tired, but at any rate, there aren't many things I've actually done. I need to to something. Any suggestions? Seriously though...comment anything. I LOVE reading comments! You might even say I cherish all of the comments you lovely reading people leave me ^.^
I really can't think of anything else to say for right now, but I guess you get my idea. I can't remember if I had a point to all of my somewhat unconscious writing so i'll give you one here. Make every second of your life matter.
When people look at you and even if they only meet you for a few minutes, they should be able to tell who holds your heart.
Don't spend every waking moment trying to impress people. AKA guys. (Or if you're a guy, then girls.) (guys don't read this part) GIRLS: let's face it, most guys we see out on the street aren't worth our time. There are a butt-load of jerks out there. I believe that there's only one person who will be perfect for you and that is your Prince Charming, and just freaking be patient.
If you feel like I do right now, do something about it. Be intentional about meeting and introducing yourself to new people. Maybe they really want to meet someone like you too!
Be crazy.
Do things you've never done. Even if it's as random and small as taking a bike ride through the woods, going sailing, doing a color run, baking strudel, getting a mani-pedi, or starting a journal. Just do something to be different.
And this song changed my life <3 That was a bonus song for you today. You're welcome.
K love you and please, not to sound pathetic and desperate, but please, comment something sometime so I can have fun seeing who actually reads this ;)
